In Memorium (1914-2013)

From

(1914-2013)

It’s been a long while since I last posted, and today it’s a bit of a different post.  My last post was towards the end of February, and righ about that time things changed in my life, in a way that I knew was coming, but was probably unprepared for.  Today’s post is dedicated to my grandfather who passed away last month at the age of 98.

There was something about the loss of him that changed me in a way I have yet to fully understand, or grasp.  He was a very private, and unique individual.  I can count on one hand the times he hugged me, or told me he loved me, but I never questioned that he did.  Yet I don’t think there are enough hands or fingers in the universe to ever calculate the lessons he taught me, or even the feelings of safety and warmth he brought me throughout the 40 years of my life I was honored to have him as a part of.

My youngest son is named after his father, and when my mother passed away, in many ways it was him that helped me find a way to process those emotions, because we shared that experience, he lost his mother at age 17, and me at age 20, so though he was not one to delve into discussion about feelings, he could relate, and have a discussion about something that seemed totally unrelated but in reality was pointedly related to how to process that confusion and move forward.

He was always so easy to talk to, and someone I felt I could share my frustrations with, and never feel judged.  It was him in 1998 that encouraged me to pack myself up and leave New York, for a new life in Virginia, which was one of the smartest decisions I have ever made.

I looked forward to my weekend calls with him, even as they became less frequent in length as his hearing faded, and his naps became more frequent.  After he mourned the loss of his wife of 75 years in 2010, I learned even more to appreciate his resiliency, and appreciation for life, and love of his family.  He often told me that he hoped to love to 100, as long as he was able to stay healthy and take care of himself.  It was remarkable to watch.

Yet within a few days of may last post his health began to deteriorate rapidly, and he began to need almost full time care, something he did not want.  He died peacefully on March 12, 2013 at age 98.

He raised two wonderful sons, and also passed so many lessons on to his grandchildren.  Lessons that have made me a better parent, and a better person.

He taught me:

•  Sometimes saying nothing is better than saying anything at all.


• That being wrong can be a gift, because it can teach you more than being right.


• That sitting with my children, and watching them play, or sleep, or just being with them is one of the greatest gifts I will ever receive.


• Just sitting an looking at the world around you will make you appreciate it more.


• Just be happy, having everything doesn’t make you happy, but if your truly happy then you have everything.


• That I still have a lot of growing to do.

An even his passing has taught me more, lessons I have yet to fully understand.

So today’s post is dedicated to him.

Thanks Grandpa!

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In Memorium (1914-2013)